I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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