I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
