i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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