Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
