Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize