So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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