She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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