I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
