Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
