At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
