I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize