He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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