He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
