Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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