threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize