i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
