I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
