just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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