Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
