in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
