In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We had sex on a dog bed..
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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