I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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