i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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