Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
