Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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