sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize