This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
