he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
