Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize