i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
