thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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