new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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