It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
