the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
