we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
