He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize