I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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