did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
