so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
