Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
