After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
