She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize