Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
