Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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