two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
