you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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