Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
