i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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