you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
