Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
