Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
