I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
