I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
