just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
