I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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