I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
