im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize