rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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