my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
