seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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