Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
