Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
