Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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