Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize