He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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