Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
