David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize