All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He passed out mid-signature
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
