eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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