Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
