i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
