Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
